Australian Sentenced For Smuggling Fish In Dress

(AP) MELBOURNE, Australia An Australian woman was sentenced Friday to nine months of community service work for smuggling protected fish from Asia in her dress.

There are so many things coming to my mind, but I’ll just keep them to myself for now in case there are any kids visiting my website. If any kids are reading this, I’m thinking of Nemo jokes, and am most certainly not thinking of anything to do with fishy smells in peculiar places.

Sharon Naismith, 45, was caught in June 2005 at the airport in the southern city of Melbourne after customs officers heard “flipping” noises coming from her clothes and conducted a search, Australian Customs said.

Oh good god…this is really hard. I’m really trying here people. My fingers are aching and I’m feeling an urgent need to type what’s in my corrupt little brain. Ok…count to 10. Breathe….CLAMS!!!..Stop! alright…I’m ok now

In a specially made apron under her dress, they found 15 plastic bags filled with water and fish: one rare Asian arowana that customs said was worth tens of thousands of dollars, and 14 catfish.

Catfish under the dress. Ok, no jokes there. Good. Hold on…wait a second…oh no! I just thought of something hilariously suggestive using another word for cat…ok…count to 10, breathe…

“Wildlife smuggling is a cruel practice, as many offenders ignore the health and well being of the animals,” said Australian Customs senior officer Doug Nicoll. “Such animals can also be potential carriers of disease and harm the Australian fish industry.”

If smuggling wildlife under your dress is a cruel practice, then what does say about hippie girls? Sorry hippies, it’s not my fault, I had to. And if smuggling wildlife under your dress can make you carry diseases, then I know from now on I’m not going anywhere near any dress wearing hippie truck stop whores. They aint nothing but trouble.