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Random Videos
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Thing 1
Today I saw a woman with the most gigantic ass I’ve ever seen on a mammal. It was as if she stuffed her jeans with 2 fully grown pheasants. She has to be the only person that’s taller when she’s sitting than when she’s standing up.
Thing 2
Yesterday at a dinner party there was a girl who had the most horrifying laugh I’ve ever heard. It was like a laughing hyena had a baby with a crack whore. After she would laugh, she would choke. It was like god was trying to teach her a lesson. The laugh was so incredibly painful. I’d seriously rather get a root canal, rabies shots, and have someone with Parkinsons and sandpaper gloves give me a rectal exam than have to listen to that laugh. I tried to kill myself 3 times during dinner. The first time I tried to overdose on pain meds, but she laughed and I vomited them back up. The second time I tried slitting my wrists, but her laugh created a thick scaly rash all over my skin that served as a patch over my would be death wound. The final time I tried jumping from the roof, but my temporary insanity blinded me to the fact that I was jumping from a 1-story house, so I just sprained my ankle and cried myself to sleep in my neighbor’s back yard.
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