NASHVILLE, Tennessee (AP) — Brushing three times a day is a tough task, especially if you’re roughing it in the mountains of Afghanistan or in the Iraqi desert.

Interesting that this article was written in Tennessee. I’m not so certain that brushing three times a day happens too often there either. Maybe three times a month.

So goes the logic behind a recent endeavor by Army and civilian scientists — combat gum for soldiers too busy to brush.

It’s nice to know that our nation’s top scientists have so much free time on their hands. I must have missed the memo that we found a cure for cancer.

The gum, described at the American Association of Pharmaceutical Scientists convention this week in Nashville, would contain a special bacteria-fighting agent to prevent plaque, cavities and gum disease.

Too bad it couldn’t make people smarter. I’d walk up and down the street jamming it into people’s stupid gaping pie-holes.

Soldiers in the field often lack the necessary time and means to brush and floss. Compounding the problem is the stress of combat, which can encourage bacterial growth in the mouth, said Col. Dennis Runyan, commander of the Army Dental and Trauma Research Detachment in Great Lakes, Illinois.

That’s a whole lotta complicated words to say that army folk have breath with the stopping power of a barrel full of anthrax.

Gum was considered an ideal solution because the Army already issues gum to soldiers in their field rations.

It’s sad that common sense with government related issues is strictly limited to gum and perhaps taffy.

Dr. Patrick DeLuca, a University of Kentucky drug product developer, is working to perfect the prototype, trying to make it taste better and ensure that it retains its flavor and bacteria-fighting ability for 30 minutes to an hour.

They seriously need to sell this technology to Hubba Bubba. You’re lucky if you still have a smidgeon of bubble gum flavor left after 60 seconds.

Once the development stage is complete sometime within the next year, scientists will begin testing the gum, possibly with Army units.

That means that they’re going to have soldiers not brush their teeth for at least a few weeks while they test the gum. Talk about weapons of mass destruction.

If the Army decides to pursue the idea, it will probably team up with a manufacturer to produce the gum. The Army has been talking to companies like chewing gum giant Wm. Wrigley Jr. Co., Runyan said.

They’d be stupid to not go with Bazooka. They could then try to start recruiting kids with messages in the little cartoons. They could have the scientists come up with something catchy. They’ll have lots of time since they successfully tackled the gum project.

Runyan said he hopes to see a finished product available within four years.