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I had to send a Money Gram payment to take care of a bill today, which meant having to deal with both Wal-Mart and my auto insurance phone douchebags at the same time.
About 14 seconds after entering the store I got a real bad case of the vertigo, and my stomach starting hurting like after you eat Mouse and Hamster Poison. And I’m not talking about good, pure Mouse and Hamster Poison. I’m talking about Mouse and Hamster Poison that you’d get at Wal-Mart, mixed and diluted with oatmeal, cough syrup, gunpowder, and Tang, which creates a gumbo-like constancy requiring you to serve the Mouse and Hamster Poison in proper soup bowls.
I felt like I was being eaten alive from the inside out by a rabid Wolverine while having to watch a live web-cam with sound transmitting from the lunchroom of a suburban police department, with my eyeball propped open forcing me to watch them eat their roast beef on white bread sandwiches while they talked about a broad assortment of topics, ranging from baseball and football, to pulling over hot chicks and making them show their boobs to get out of a ticket.
I’m giving myself a root canal right now with 2 pencils and a hammer and all I can think about is how ecstatic I am that I’m not in Wal-Mart.
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