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Article in White. My commentary in red.
AP - A robber rolled into a Dallas convenience store came armed with a bat and a knife. He left with a lot of condoms and an energy drink.
He probably wanted to make sure he had an extra boost in case he ended up being chased by the coppers. I can’t imagine what else he would have wanted an energy drink for. I hope he was careful not to puncture the condoms with the knife.
Dallas police Cpl. Kevin Janse said Friday that a man in a wheelchair entered a Dallas 7-Eleven Wednesday afternoon, rolled straight toward the cash register and beat it with a baseball bat until it opened.
It turns out that his dad sold him for eighteen dollars and forty-two cents when he was little and he remembers how furious his dad was when he was given a twenty with a request for the one dollar and fifty-eight cents change. He remembers his dad yelling at him because he couldn’t even get him twenty dollars. Anytime he sees small change being made it reminds him of his dad and he smashes it with anything he can find. In fact, he had just been released from a 2 year stretch in the pen for beating an ice cream truck driver with a frozen king sized Butterfinger.
But he didn’t grab any cash. Instead, police say he stole 10 boxes of condoms and an energy drink before making his getaway Wednesday afternoon.
It’s like the movie “John Doe”, where someone commits a crime for a selfless purpose and doesn’t want any money. They should throw him a parade. He could be his own float.
Janse says the suspect may have been homeless and was likely intoxicated at the time of the robbery.
I agree. In fact, I like to blame most of life’s mysteries on homeless alcoholics.
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