First of all, I would have several costume changes throughout the debate, where they would dress like a firefighter, an astronaut, Hellboy, whatever…

The winner of the debate wouldn’t be coming from some tainted public opinion poll. The participants would receive points throughout the debate, allowing for a true winner at the end, complete with a tasteful trophy presentation. Of course, there would be points given for most original and scariest costume.

I could picture a scenario where McCain wins most original costume by coming as a giant Chalupa, and a tie for scariest costume between Obama as Blackula, and Sarah Palin’s super scary Jeffery Dahmer costume, with a  candy bag filled with authentic looking body parts.

I would have a balcony for the 2 elderly Muppets. They’d be there for comic relief as every once in a while we could cut to them making wise cracks to each other.

This is how I would structure the debate with paper, rock, scissors to choose the order:

Question and Rebuttal

Question and Rebuttal

Arm Wrestling - Or a game of H.O.R.S.E. with a 7 foot high rim so the contestants could include dunks.

Basketball may seem to favor Obama, but it was either that or a proposed “Dancing with the Political Stars” contest.

Question and Rebuttal

Battleship - To see who is better at war. I’d prefer they play risk, but it takes too long, plus the Palin team would never agree to this because of the possibility that he’d have to pronounce Kamtchaka.

Nap (for me)

Mad Libs – With guest star Wayne Brady, who would finish the round by singing a hilarious song about Obama and McCain

Question and Rebuttal

Question and Rebuttal

Guitar Hero

Question and Rebuttal

Monopoly - To see who’s better with money. quick game, like whoever makes it around first wins. Whichever contestant can hold their breath longest would get to be the car.

Question and Rebuttal

Sumo - They would run at each other in those crazy supergigantic padded sumo outfits. then I would have them each do 2 trampoline dunks with Magic Johnson being the guest judge. Magic would hold up a 10, no matter how lame the dunk. The crowd would hiss and boo and start to throw things, so with the 2nd dunk he’d mix things up. He’d hold up a 9 for the first person, then he’d hold up a 6 for whoever went next. The losing candidate would complain and just before things got ugly, Magic would flip the 6 into a 9. Oh m’god, he fooled everyone. Tie score. Everyone feels good. Yay. My other idea here is a round of boxing using those humongous boxing gloves usually reserved for girls in bikinis. This would take place in a ring of jello.